Get a job.

Dee here.

Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow? Its a disappointment, really. I rather do enjoy lying around...sleeping when I want and as long as I want. However, I guess that's very unproductive of me, anyways....

Speaking of work: I have informed Mr. T that he needs to take this job. For those of you who DON'T know, Mr. T is my somewhat charming Aries partner that the gods were merciful enough to bestow upon me. And, I love Mr. T deeply; he's the only person that I have ever been able to live with for MORE than eight months in a row. Apparently, that's something. And, he's very romantic and loving and completely and utterly devoted to me.

However! That being said, Mr. T has lately decided to go and wallow in the depths of despair: a work injury forced him out of work, us out of a job, and blew us all the way to another state, living with his sister. This saddens Mr. T because he loved his job and loved his former life. Also, Mr. T's back still hurts and that's depressing, too.

Now, I feel for Mr. T, and I understand how he's feeling. But, right now...I just cannot accept him giving up on life and everything else and becoming completely useless. And, by useless I mean, sitting in a chair 24/7 and not moving and not going anywhere and not talking to anybody and not focusing on how hard everyone else is having to work around him.

Since October, since we moved in with the sister in law...I have been the only one with a job. Bills are piling up (bills that aren't even mine, but that were here before I even got here) and while K (that's the sister) got unemployment, it wasn't a lot. There was a brief period where we were facing EVICTION, and still...I was the only one with a job.

This has GOT to be the most stressful time in my life. I've been nearly ready to pull my hair out. We lost EVERYTHING...and I really cannot live like this for the rest of my life.

Anyways, K got a job through a friend of hers and T's...she will be driving people to and from doctor appointments and such. This friend ALSO said, that if T wanted, she could get him on there, too. Now, this is a DREAM JOB for T, and I will tell you why. Number 1: T is a loner and likes to work independently. And obviously, in this job he will be independent as no one else will be in the car except for the passengers. Number 2: T is a chain smoker, and really needs a job that allows him to smoke when he feels he needs it. I think that he can probably smoke at any time, except when the passengers are in the car. Number 3: T likes to drive. He's had other driving jobs and he loves them. Number 4: I have no doubt that his back DOES indeed still hurt. But, as he sits in a chair all day long, or on the couch all day long, I think he will manage to sit in a vehicle all day and ride around.

He HAS to suck it up and get with the program. I am not going to live like this forever. Its absolutely insane. Something has got to be done. We're getting too old to keep playing these games. I need security and stability.

I'm not exempt from having to suck it up, myself, so don't think I'm being harsh on poor T. I am going to have to get that ticket paid off, and work on getting my license reinstated. Because, it really sucks having to be so dependent on people. I mean, really! I am 28 years old; its high time I get my driving record straightened and get everything current and legal. How can I be an adult if I cannot even transport myself from here to there? Its quite unacceptable.

So, yes, I'm making him get this job. And, if he doesn't...if he hum-haws around and misses it and doesn't find something else...then I really do think some drastic measures are going to have to be taken. And, I REALLY do not want to take it there. It sickens my stomach to think of him not being along side of me. But, I can't keep living in these conditions. I need MORE than this. I'm busting my ass, and I need him to, too. Pain or not, he has to still pay the bills. Everyone in the world pretty much has that mindset. My uncle goes to work everyday with a lot of health problems because he has to. Its what you DO, as an adult. This job is perfect; he'd better not fuck it up.

I have my own issues to deal with, I don't have time to babysit everyone else. And, I'd really like to use my brain to worry and ponder OTHER issues besides money and bills. I have got to find the joy in life. I don't like how cynical my thoughts have been of late. It can't be a healthy mindset to be in.

I miss having a full life. What happened to that? Where did it go? Where did I go wrong? I don't even REMEMBER slipping into the life I have now. It all happens so suddenly...you wake up one day and realize that everything's wrong.

I can't waste everything away. Time is flying by.