Yes, Dahling V, I know how utterly rude I am for keeping you waiting for TWO WHOLE DAYS! Seriously, I'm not quite sure I can live with the guilt. So, as penance, I'm giving up that wonderful pen and paper journaling that we love so much, and, instead, I'm writing here.

Having my computer back really is one of the greatest things right now. I use this for a lot more than chatting, you know, and I just don't feel complete without it. Likewise, I'm very happy about my taxes. T is not; he says that I'm not going to let him have any of it, anyways, so it doesn't really matter. I think that's a bit unfair...I WILL give him a BIT of an allowance to go and blow, but a lot of it is going towards bills. And, I really think I should get that ticket and warrant taken care of so that I can THEN get my license back in working condition and join the ranks of adulthood once again. Now all I need is to win the lottery or something...

I wish you were online, V! Its really not fair that "I" get online on MY days off, but you don't return the favor when YOU have msn ON YOUR PHONE. So, its not like its inaccessible.

I really wish I had a cute or humorous story to leave here for a good laugh, but nothing's coming to mind, so I will tell you about Jason's sister, L. L had a baby not long ago with her boyfriend O, and I think I remember telling you how rude I found it that no one had informed ME of the child. Anyways, today, I was moseying through FaceBook snooping in L's profile and realized she named the baby Scarlette. I thought, "Hmm, I don't remember L ever having an attachment to that name before...I can't imagine why she named her daughter that." Later though, I discovered the reason: it appears Scarlette's last name is O'Hara. So, in other words, Scarlette O'Hara. The irony, of course, being that the baby's black. Heh. How clever!

[In case the point escapes you: Scarlett O'Hara is the heroine in "Gone with the Wind".]

Soooo

So after all the complaints I've had to listen to about how I haven't been good about my blogging, now I'm the only one doing so? Ah well....I shouldn't complain since it's only day two of me blogging alone haha.
So the funny story I was going to tell, isn't so funny anymore now that I've had a little think about it.
I also can't seem to concentrate since I'm at work and am situated right in front of my very moody boss's office. Don't get me wrong, I clearly have a great deal of understanding for moody men, however I must remind myself that I don't want those moods to flip on me. I am currently waiting for him to make this guy who got flown over as a "matter of emergency" from another country cry. This is pretty much all I've been hearing for the past 30 minutes: (Boss - B, Guy -G):

G: But I dont understand, how do they expect us to finish the project by that date if they previously stated that they expect it will take x amount of hours?
B: I don't know and it's not my problem. (which is true...it isn't)
G: But that doesn't make too much sense, I don't understand what exactly you want us to do?
B:(explains what to do although its not his problem)
G: But I dont understand, how do they expect us to finish the project...(rah rah blah blah same as above)
B: Why are you here?
G: Because C. (Guys boss) sent me...ok no really, I was told its a matter of emergency
B:Well...if youre only here because C sent you, and this is how you're going to look at things, you might as well see it as a company paid vacation, because we're clearly not going to get you to cooperate the way we need you to (keep in mind they both work for the same company yet different departments and locations)
G:Oh...no...tell me again how you want us to fix this?

See...I would've potentially had a nervous breakdown by now, if I was the poor guy sent here from another company. However me being me, and having the experiences with difficult men that I have had so far...well I'm not quite that phased...til it turns on me haha.

Apart from that I'm asked every other hour if I have a phone yet...no...it will take several days....do I have a company email address yet? No..this will also take several days. Why dont I have one yet? I dont know, I just started yesterday, yes but why didnt they set it up...I really dont know as we are all working TOGETHER in special projects and I am not secretly working for IT as well. However, I am enjoying myself so far, at least I feel productive, even if its just cause I'm sitting in an office lol. I realistically still have no idea whatsoever what I'm doing. And I was just told we're not going home til we finished certain things...which btw, we havent even started yet, because we're waiting on the Project Manager...9-5..in my dreams...but also in my dreams is a very nice car, and maybe having 9-5 stay a dream will make the car come out of the dream and into my driveway that must faster =)

I blogged!

Here you go dahling D, I'm blogging, even if it will be a oneliner from my phone as my battery threatens to die I'm doing it.
I did swear on my odd adoration so I must do it!
I do have a funny story to tell, well I think its funny, even if you don't know the people its about,
But that will have to wait until tomorrow when I can write about it from a computer.
At least for today though I kept my promise of blogging. X

Annoyed.

Yes, you read that correctly. I am ANNOYED. Who, Dahling V, wanted this to be a daily blog thing? Why am I the last one that's posted? Me, with a broken computer, and borrowing other people's whenever I can?

Tisk tisk.

This will not do.
=(

Do YOU dream in chocolate?

That's what Lindt wanted to know. And, my answer is apparently YES, as I awoke the other night to find a piece of chocolate still in my hand (one I had fallen asleep before greedily gobbling it up, it seems) melted, and smeared ALSO on my face; not to mention, I also found it up my nose!

What a fucking NIGHTMARE. I love chocolate; its my best friend, sometimes...but NEVER AGAIN will I hope to dream in chocolate. *shudders*

Anyways; today is another day.
I'm out of weed, so I'm trying to tweak out as many resin highs that I can before Saturday. This makes me grumpy, and provides a headache.
I had to work. It rained all day. When I went out to do my lot check, which is code for smoke a cigarette and stall, I had to warn my manager that it was very likely that I should melt. I did not, and was rewarded with 2 more hours of work. Yippee. Oh, and I cussed out the sister in law via phone because she was being an uppity bitch. Pardon ME for not fawning over her TWO DAYS OF WORK whilst I've worked for the past FIVE MONTHS without her doing a damned thing. I mean, how could I be SO inconsiderate as to not realize the blaring sacrifice she's made for my benefit....
After work, I came home, got online, and mucked around. There's really not a lot of joy in the midwest to be had on a Wednesday night. The resin high I'm sporting is a MINOR plus, but the headache is starting to rear its ugly head. It doesn't help that my wonderful fan is making that LOVELY whirring sound I so adore, either.
I will be happy when the sandman visits tonight.
...just don't let him bring me chocolate.

Mr. Potato Head

So I tutor one of my friends' students. I really dont do much more than speak to her and read stories with her, the whole goal is to get her to speak English. She's five, which means half the time she's adorable, the other half she makes me want to pull my hair out. 

Today she told me the rather interesting story of how "the water beat" her. Yes, she was "beaten up" by water. What had happened was that she was trying to open this little cup of water and cut herself on the lid. She was appalled. And no matter how often and in how many different ways I tried to explain to her that water will generally not beat anyone up, she was rather insistant. After a good 15 minutes of debate about this, we read a story. "Reading a story" usually consists of her yelling "Miss, I tell you!" and then not even really making up a story about the picture, but blurting out whatever she sees in the picture. This frequently involves her adding invisible things to the picture. Today she asked me if I will take the elephant out of the story. After I said I dont think I will be doing this anytime soon, she explained to me, well I couldnt really do it anyway. Not because its impossible, but because she had already taken it out herself. I asked her where she was hiding it, because her hands are quite small to hide such a big thing. At this I was looked at like I really had no idea how the world works. Because the elephant was of course NOT in her hand. Well...it was, but she wasnt holding it. Oh no, the elephant had been slipped through the cut which was caused by being beaten up by the water. And was now IN her hand, well actually it was IN her finger. However when I started to "take her seriously" on this, she was not amused...she didnt really want an elephant in her hand, and I sometimes forget that being the teacher, she assumes (correctly most of the time but not always haha) that I have all the answers, so if I really think its in her finger...then there is a distinct possibility that it really is. 

The next highlight came when we turned the page of said story and in the bottom left corner was Mr. Potato Head. She stared at him...REALLY stared at him. She then furrowed her brows and said "Miss...what is THIS?!" and I said "uhm...its Mr. Potato Head". This opened up the following dialogue:

"He is POTATO Miss?!"

"yes, he's a potato"

"but WHY Miss?"

"I dont know, he just is" (very informative I know)

pointing to his admittedly rather large mustache: "Miss...WHY he have THAT?"

"because he is male, but its only a story, he's not real"

"this potato...POTATO?!"

"yes, he really is a potato"

She then started laughing. And she laughed the way a child does when they find something really funny, to the point where she was about to hyperventilate and nearly fell off her chair.

"Miss, I tell Babi (her dad) *cackle, giggle, snort, laugh* I tell Babi this Mr. Potato."

"His name is Mr. Potato HEAD."

"This name for Babi?"
"Say "thats Babi's name, not this name for Babi, and no, its not your babi's name, its the potatos' name" (this of course conjured up visions of her running to her dad yelling "Babi Miss Vanessa said your name Mr. Potato Head"...not funny.)

"Miss....I dont like him, I dont like Mr Potato Head...and I dont love him!"

"Ok..."

"Do you like Mr Potato Head?"

"Yes, I like him"

"Miss do you LOVE him?"

"No I dont LOVE him."

"Good...Miss, I dont love him and I dont like him. And I no eat potato now!"

"Why wont you eat potato anymore?"

"BECAAAAUUUUUSSSSEEEEE, Miss, I dont want to eat black thing...ugh" as she pulls a face.

The "black thing" is his mustache. Her biggest fear now is that all potatoes have a mustache, maybe an invisible one that she just cant see, but they have a mustache. And at least for today nothing I said to her could convince her otherwise. However as long as this particular Mr. Potato Head was still in the story (and not hiding in her finger along with the elephant) she felt fairly safe. 

I was relieved to see that Babi was not home when I left. Because I already have issues with Babi. Issues is probably the wrong word...but Babi is fairly good looking, and this is not helped along by my friend who whenever he picks up his daughter from school starts giggling and then takes great pleasure in telling me how he makes her blush. So when I see him, I think of her giggling, that makes me want to giggle. Then about a week ago we had a conversation which I at some point realized was not quite appropriate. Now I say not quite appropriate because he is a a married man. He told me he would be going to Miami soon. To which I said "oh lucky you!" to which he said "its not so lucky if youre only going there on a course" to which I responded with "oh..yeah I guess youre right"...this was the moment I realized what I'd just said. Really? I mean REALLY? What else would he be going there for? The clubs? The bikini-clad big boobed women? awkward.....So I tried to fix that little issue with "but at least you get to travel!" which he agreed with. However...throughout the conversation he managed to say the word "Miami" so often that it reminded me of K. (my K, not Dee's K) and of the song he had on repeat for a while...this being "I'm in Miami Bitch". So now, whenever I think of the girls' dad, not only do I think of my giggling friend, but I also have the song "I'm in Miami Bitch" playing in my head.....the same happens when I see him. Unfortunately for me, I'm fairly certain that after today's lesson, at least for a while, to me he will be Babi aka Mr Potato Head, who is soon off to Miami....Bitch.

*V

Get a job.

Dee here.

Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow? Its a disappointment, really. I rather do enjoy lying around...sleeping when I want and as long as I want. However, I guess that's very unproductive of me, anyways....

Speaking of work: I have informed Mr. T that he needs to take this job. For those of you who DON'T know, Mr. T is my somewhat charming Aries partner that the gods were merciful enough to bestow upon me. And, I love Mr. T deeply; he's the only person that I have ever been able to live with for MORE than eight months in a row. Apparently, that's something. And, he's very romantic and loving and completely and utterly devoted to me.

However! That being said, Mr. T has lately decided to go and wallow in the depths of despair: a work injury forced him out of work, us out of a job, and blew us all the way to another state, living with his sister. This saddens Mr. T because he loved his job and loved his former life. Also, Mr. T's back still hurts and that's depressing, too.

Now, I feel for Mr. T, and I understand how he's feeling. But, right now...I just cannot accept him giving up on life and everything else and becoming completely useless. And, by useless I mean, sitting in a chair 24/7 and not moving and not going anywhere and not talking to anybody and not focusing on how hard everyone else is having to work around him.

Since October, since we moved in with the sister in law...I have been the only one with a job. Bills are piling up (bills that aren't even mine, but that were here before I even got here) and while K (that's the sister) got unemployment, it wasn't a lot. There was a brief period where we were facing EVICTION, and still...I was the only one with a job.

This has GOT to be the most stressful time in my life. I've been nearly ready to pull my hair out. We lost EVERYTHING...and I really cannot live like this for the rest of my life.

Anyways, K got a job through a friend of hers and T's...she will be driving people to and from doctor appointments and such. This friend ALSO said, that if T wanted, she could get him on there, too. Now, this is a DREAM JOB for T, and I will tell you why. Number 1: T is a loner and likes to work independently. And obviously, in this job he will be independent as no one else will be in the car except for the passengers. Number 2: T is a chain smoker, and really needs a job that allows him to smoke when he feels he needs it. I think that he can probably smoke at any time, except when the passengers are in the car. Number 3: T likes to drive. He's had other driving jobs and he loves them. Number 4: I have no doubt that his back DOES indeed still hurt. But, as he sits in a chair all day long, or on the couch all day long, I think he will manage to sit in a vehicle all day and ride around.

He HAS to suck it up and get with the program. I am not going to live like this forever. Its absolutely insane. Something has got to be done. We're getting too old to keep playing these games. I need security and stability.

I'm not exempt from having to suck it up, myself, so don't think I'm being harsh on poor T. I am going to have to get that ticket paid off, and work on getting my license reinstated. Because, it really sucks having to be so dependent on people. I mean, really! I am 28 years old; its high time I get my driving record straightened and get everything current and legal. How can I be an adult if I cannot even transport myself from here to there? Its quite unacceptable.

So, yes, I'm making him get this job. And, if he doesn't...if he hum-haws around and misses it and doesn't find something else...then I really do think some drastic measures are going to have to be taken. And, I REALLY do not want to take it there. It sickens my stomach to think of him not being along side of me. But, I can't keep living in these conditions. I need MORE than this. I'm busting my ass, and I need him to, too. Pain or not, he has to still pay the bills. Everyone in the world pretty much has that mindset. My uncle goes to work everyday with a lot of health problems because he has to. Its what you DO, as an adult. This job is perfect; he'd better not fuck it up.

I have my own issues to deal with, I don't have time to babysit everyone else. And, I'd really like to use my brain to worry and ponder OTHER issues besides money and bills. I have got to find the joy in life. I don't like how cynical my thoughts have been of late. It can't be a healthy mindset to be in.

I miss having a full life. What happened to that? Where did it go? Where did I go wrong? I don't even REMEMBER slipping into the life I have now. It all happens so suddenly...you wake up one day and realize that everything's wrong.

I can't waste everything away. Time is flying by.

Transportation

So, I'm not going to go through the whole "this is the first post" introduction thing because....I dont even know if anyone is going to read this, nor does anyone really care...its fairly obvious its the first post.

So....D and I were talking about cars...now I have a history of...wanting a nice car...this hasnt quite worked out so well. For the most part at least. While I currently aspire to own a Lexus IS 300 (hopefully within the next few months that will happen), and developed a great love for a certain Mercedes E63, those were not quite the cars Ive been driving in the past few years (apart from the times I was "allowed/made" to drive the E63). The first car I had access to was 2005 Ford Explorer. Not bad right? Could be a lot worse! I do agree. Apart from the fact that the gauge was broken and it had a sneaky habit of pretending to have gas in it when it didnt, and also of pretending it didnt have gas when it did. Add to that that this was actually my mothers car...apart from when it was dirty or needed repairs...then it was "mine". This brought on by the fact that I used it more than she did. Then there was my brothers Hyundai. I dont even remember what model it was but it was a nightmare. That car had so many issues that when the engine finally blew and we were told it would cost more to repair it than it was worth..it was sold (can you believe that? the creator of craigslist is a GENIUS!). Then came the next great experience.....as he was on a budget (since this would be his 3rd car at the tender age of 19), the next car was a Regency Oldsmobile....I could go on about how the wheel-lock was broken and we had exciting experiences like having to leave the car in a parking lot and taking a cab home because we couldnt get it started, or having the wrong spare wheel for it and driving with 3 "normal" wheels and one TINY one all the way from MD to Canada.
Then I moved away from the states and here....after switching over my license, rented a Nissan Tiida.....which was ok....until I noticed that theyre like eggshells. I cant even count the amounts of bumps and scratches that car had, just from parking it somewhere and having other people bump into it. Following that was another Tiida, aaannnnnd another one. Which proceeded to lose parts after a while, had to have the backlights exchanged twice within a year and had to have more oil changes than I ever knew a car could need. If i thought that was challenging, it wasnt as bad as the Toyota Yaris I rented a few weeks ago. No CD player...ok I can live with that...but did it really have to sound as if it was dying whenever I went over 120 kmh?

Now lots of people here take taxis. Because theyre cheap. We have old taxis and new taxis. The old ones are the yellow cabs. Now these are by no means comparable to yellow taxis in the states. The yellow taxis here are generally driven by (and im not being offensive, anyone who has ever lived here has had the same experience) people who.....dont shower? in other words they smell...really bad. Then they refuse to switch on the AC even when we're sporting nearly 50 degrees C in the summer. And when they DO switch it on, they refuse to open the window so while youre then stuck in a "cool" car, its also a fairly stinky one. In addition to that, they are notorious for not driving very well. And when I say not driving very well....I mean you have to ask yourself if they were giving their permits along with their jobs without ever having seen a car before in their life.

Why am I talking about all the other cars and now taxis? Because if I thought the Explorer, the Hyundai, the Oldsmobile, the Tiidas or the Yaris were bad...nothing prepared me for my latest rental addition....


Yes thats right......I now drive the same model as the yellow taxis. Imagine this just in white, and thats what I can currently be seen around town with. And nothing the rental agency can tell me will convince me that they didnt just take one of the cabs and paint it white....the cigarette burns in the seats, the malfunctioning radio, the front bumper that seems to want to fly off when the car is driven, as well as the smell which I just cant seem to get rid of...all speak against them, and for what I believe this car used to be used for.

So moral of the story....while I may dream of the IS300 and reminisce about the E63...I shouldnt complain about the cars Ive driven in the past few years.....because they were still better than feeling like I should be picking up people from the taxi stand.

On a more positive note.....at least I have transportation..yay!!!! I'm serious, I might complain, I might just have made fun of it, but I'm sure within the next week or so I'll learn to find some odd thing about it that I like, and I already do appreciate it. And I'm glad I have it. Former Yellow Cab or not!